Den of Iniquity

You might be a geezer if . . .

• you have more grandkids than teeth.
• your afterlife is all set, but your social life Depends.
• your senior discount and your IQ have roughly evened out.
• running for office is about a doctor, not an election.
• you offer to help someone across the street, but you get lost on the way.
• your favorite cocktail includes prune juice.
• your phone isn't mobile but your teeth are.
• you think the challenges of space travel are best solved with a TV remote.
• you think the Fountain of Youth is about writing your name in the snow.
• you go to the electronics department for BVDs.