Den of Iniquity

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Paraprosdokians and Other Quips

Posted on July 13, 2016 at 8:10 PM

Paraprosdokians & Other Quips

  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. There aren't many things on my list.
  • War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice.
  • You're never too old to learn something stupid.
  • To be an expert marksman, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department recommends using water.
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  • Behind the rise of a successful man is usually a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.



Categories: Silly Stuff