Den of Iniquity

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Great Eggspectations

Posted on August 9, 2016 at 12:50 AM

Great Eggspectations


Since the dawn of civilization, man has struggled to understand himself and his environment. What is the meaning of life? Is there life after death? How can we explain man's inhumanity to man? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Are brown eggs better than white?

Fret not, I will reveal all. Let's start with the egg dilemma, and I'll get to the meaning of life later. Are brown people better than white people? Or vice versa? Of course not. We're all the same on the inside. Same with eggs. No difference in taste, nutritional value, or cooking characteristics.

Hens with white feathers and earlobes usually lay white eggs. Hens with dark feathers and red earlobes tend to lay brown eggs. That's it. So, all eggs are alike? Not eggsactly.

Eggs highest in nutrition come from hens raised on grass and insects. Those eggs have more omega-3 fat, vitamins A, E, and sometimes D. So, all you need to do is look for something on the carton that indicates the source chickens are "free roaming" or "free range" or something to that effect. Right?

Not in my eggsperience. No one officially verifies those claims, so they don't guarantee the chickens ever get to play outdoors. Claims such as "hormone free" and "raised without antibiotics" are also meaningless. If it's really that important, you should consider buying eggs from a local farmer you trust, or maybe research your supplier online. Or maybe buy some chickens of your own?

By the way, the egg came first. Eggs have been around a lot longer than chickens. No eggsaggeration.

I'm no eggspert. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Eggspress.



Categories: Silly Stuff